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another course of true love

April 21st, 2011 by

Riding in the car today, a student and I were discussing the play, As it is in Heaven, which opened last night.  We were talking about the performances, and I remarked on the fearlessness that the actors embodied.  Referring to the acting in a scene where a character sees and hears angels, I remarked, “That’s what fearlessness looks like.”  Without missing a beat, the student responded, “Yeah, and true love.”

I almost pulled the car over.

He was SO RIGHT.  Fearlessness is just another word for true love, for real, authentic, I-don’t-need-anything-from-you-my-love-is-totally-complete LOVE.  There’s a bible verse 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear. Said another way a proverb reads: Fear knocked at the door.  Love answered.  And no one was there.

When we are aligned with the love that we are, there’s no fear.  There’s no thought that blocks our love.  It pours and flows out of us.  We don’t see ourselves as separate because we’re not.  We become fearless in the moments that something bigger, more beautiful, or more magical than ourselves calls our attention.  When it’s not about me, there’s space for the love that I am to express itself.

So why do I get scared so much?  Why do I listen to my fearful thoughts instead of trusting my fearless love?  I guess I’m afraid of dying.  And yet that’s what every spiritual teaching that I’ve ever read that’s resonated at all says.  If we want to know how to live, we must be prepared to die over a thousand deaths.  Again and again, the ego must die.

I am reminded of Martin Luther King’s No one is truly free who is afraid to die.

I realize that I really can’t love and fear with the same breath.  It is an either/or proposition.  No room for both.  So what’s it going to be?  Who am I going to be –

fearful or love-lit?  I remember a prayer Allison shared with me…

 

I surrender to the unknown, dear God

and when my resistances arise

unravel me tenderly

for I am a good and sensitive soul.

 

Amen, sister.  I got nothing but love for you.

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